I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
