Im at strip club and am horny
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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