Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
barbara walters just said penis...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
