More tranny stories later!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
