i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
being pregnant is like rehab
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
