Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
