Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize