Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
