All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
