I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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