We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cannot find my penis.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
