I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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