ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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