so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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