I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
