You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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