I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
barbara walters just said penis...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
