he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
