By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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