those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
