If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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