2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
