Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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