I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize