I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
