Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
