hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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