I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
