So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
