As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
