My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
