How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
