Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
