As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
