Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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