I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
