i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
