wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
whose ass print is on the piano?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
