we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
