Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
ok first of all what the fuck
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
