Screwed.edu
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
