she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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