Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
