Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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