Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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