I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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