You're my little dorito
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Randomize
