After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
