shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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