lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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