I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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