If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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