hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
