why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
