my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize