I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
