my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
