Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
