First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
