im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
