I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
