no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
