why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need a beard to bite.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
