I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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