the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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