dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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