My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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