It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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