My brain says no but my pants say off.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
