he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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